Everybody Needs Good Neighbours

The last nights storm was brilliant to watch from inside our cosy car. Maybe a little too good resulting in me not wanting to shut my eyes, but despite a lack of sleep I was surprisingly comfy when I awoke. It didn't take long to get a bit grumbly over the fact we had to pack up our dripping wet tent, make the car look spotless and drive it all the way to Melbourne to give it back. Thankfully the exterior was still intact but the interior had been used like a bedroom for the last week.

The Great Ocean Road had been utterly beautiful and far more epic than I had imagined it could be. Driving the endlessly straight outback road with only a handful of other vehicles around was a lot of fun and a total breeze, but taking our swish hire car into the hectic streets of Melbourne knowing we had to give it back in perfect condition was quite a headache. There are levels on Grand Theft Auto where you have to take your lush sports car from one end of the city to the other without a single scratch and I never do it without grinding past a bus or something- this was feeling very similar but with a bucket more sweat.

After finding petrol and giving the car a shiny spruce up we bid farewell and headed back to check out our hostel where we would stay for the next three nights. First impressions really do count don't they- when we reached our accommodation the receptionist said he would give us the keys to our room as soon as he had finished 'cashing up'. So we eagerly sat waiting to relax after quite a morning and listened to him to chat to his mates and play tracks on his iPod for the next half hour. It wasn't the best start but he eventually handed us a key (which would have taken around five seconds to do) and we checked into the room which was actually pretty good, but we were still wound up.

When evening came I went downstairs to the bar to get Laura a bottle of water and the ground floor was a sprawling mess of young kids off their faces. The bar didn't sell water, just beer, so that could have something to do with it. I went to the local shop and on my return whilst squeezing through around twenty swaying bodies one drunk skinhead demanded to see my room key. He didn't say why and when I pretended I didn't have it on me, in fear of him taking it. He then told me I couldn't go past until he looked at it. After a few minutes of confusion he finally told me that he was a member of staff and he wanted to make sure I was actually staying there. Ohhh this place was going downhill fast. It makes me sound and feel like such an old man talking about these pissed up partygoers and complaining so much but they are doing my head in. They all seem extra young and annoying out here where as back home I don' t have the slightest of problems. I love being a party animal but there is a time and a place and people at work in that state I can't tolerate.

Whether it was not having enough sleep that day I don't know as the next day we were both up and cheerful and ready for giving Melbourne a proper go. The weather didn't allow for us to see many of the sights as it poured it down all day, so we spent the majority of time catching up with internet updates for blogs and wedding stuff.

We did manage a lovely if almost gale force windy walk out on to the pier surrounded by impressive waves, full of kite surfers making the most of it. At the end of the pier was a wildlife protection area where you might spot some penguins hanging out. At first glance it all seemed empty though, apart from one lonely jelly fish, but tucked away in the rocks we got our first sighting of a clappy chappy hiding away from the weather. It didn't take long before we decide to do the same. We followed the day with some tasty grub and spent the evening in bed.

The next morning the rain had stopped so we finally had a chance to see around town. There were some intersting shops but everything is so expensive with some things double the price we'd pay back home (we keep eyeing up the next Proffesor Layton game for the DS!) With our cash flow being eaten up by just the cost of our accommodation here it made looking everywhere a bit pontless. Ooh, it sounds like I'm moaning again, it seems like everytime we hit a big city in any of the countries that we've been to that things are a tad bland and uninspiring. I just wanted to head back to the Great Ocean Road coastline and watch giant waves crash shapes into the roacks whilst I ate fish and chips!

One thing that had serious potential to be a winner here in Melbourne was our evening's plan to go the the "Neighbours Night". With the promise that Alan Fletcher aka Dr Karl Kennedy was to be there and performing live with his band The Waiting Room, Laura was always going to finish the night with a big grin. We arrived and entered a room full of excitable Ramsey Street fans from different parts of the world (though the significant majority were UK!) and we were given our own table, which meant for tonights trivia quiz it would be only Laura and me in the team "The Blakes!" We were up against tables of around ten people so along with my distinct lack of knowledge there wasn't much hope for Laura winning.

Before the stars were to appear infront of our very eyes we had to warm up the anticipation levels and get everyone fully in the mood which involved a full volume belt out of the Neighbours theme tune. Seeing hundreds of people all together blasting out such a quality melody was a sight to behold and goes down as one of the strangest experiences of my life.

Then out came, one by one, to a deafening applause- first hunky police officer Stuart Parker, then the rather gorgeous Donna Freedman and lastly the legend Dr K, who ran through the room with arms out to touch the fans like a famous WWE wrestling superstar. Various questions that had been written by people were now asked and invariably crude, vulgar and downright hilarious. Questions along the line of "I have a rash on my boob, Doctor Karl, could you come and look at it later for me?" Every star was loving the attention, especially the Doctor who must have gone into triple figures with the amount of women he kissed that night. He must have a very understanding wife!

Each of them moved to every table for a quick chat and a photo and this is where it became slightly surreal. Moments later I had Donna on one arm and Laura on the other, how wonderful! Laura got the arms of Stuart Parker wrapped around her and managed a really down to Earth conversation with him about travelling and how amazing New Zealand will be for Christmas amongst other things. Karl however knew he was a star and acted in the same manner which made things with him very easy going with his nattering confidence, and Laura enjoyed a ride on his lap too.

After the quiz ended in which Laura did bloody well but we still didn't get into the top three (it must have been fixed!) the band kicked up. Kennedy seemed off his head and loved every second as he pounced around the stage like a teen with a floor of women infront loving it just as much. He is blatantly an old dad pretending to be a rock god but he does pull it off- just! The backing band were true professionals and with a few hours worth of well played covers and Neighbours inspired tunes it was a great end to the night. Laura and I both came away with the predicted fat grins.

That evening we were meant to have packed out bags as the next morning we had to check out to go on the Neighbours tour followed quickly by a flight to New Zealand. However, we were pretty sloshed and a dribbly nights sleep followed the moment we got back to our room.

Ooh the morning after at 5.30am was hard as we rushed around to squeeze everything back into our bags which seemed like they had shrunk, but with the thought of visiting Ramsey Street we were raring to go!

At 8.10am we were picked up by a very colourfully decorated bus with a driver who was voted the best tour guide in Victoria called Jerry. It wasn't hard to see why with such enthusiasm and a ridiculous amount of knowledge on the soap over the years, he knew the lot! Within minutes of driving the "Best Of" DVD came out and we got to watch a classic episode of Dee and Toadie's wedding where at the end the car crashes and sinks into the sea, drowning the bride- quality! Jerry carried on with his soap trivia and gave us loads of inside info that we never knew about and I'm not going to tell you now- gutted you Neighbours geeks!

The tour took us around Erinsborough school, Carpenters Mechanics (where Laura got down and dirty pretending to be Steph fixing cars to our tour guides amusement), the Bric a Brac store, Grease Monkeys and the small cauldesac that is Ramsey Street. Laura continued her astonishing acting skills by posing in all sorts of ways outside the houses of the Kennedys, Robinsons and the rest, and we both had a bit of a role play argument and make up again shoot. Everyone else on the tour looked shy and posed most sensibly, but we were in the most famous street in the world- come on people!

The tour then came to an end and we drove back for one last surprise- we were to have a star meeting. Who out of all the amazing characters would it be? I was praying for Susan Kennedy and would happily have met Donna again, this time she would recognise me and we would become best mates, yeahr! It was neither, in fact it wasn't even a hunky man for Laura, it was Janelle Timmins. It really didn't matter that much apart from the fact she came across like an old bag who didn't want to be there. When it came to the pictures we asked her to make it a bit fun by bashing our heads together like Janelle with her children but she refused saying that it wasn't in her contract and she didn't get paid for things like that! Jerry even looked shocked, the whole meeting was tense and awkward for everyone and it wasn't long before she got back in her car and left. How does someone with such little personality get to work on something like Neighbours? No matter how strange the finish, nothing could stop this being one of the cheesiest, most totally tacky top days ever! Expertly managing time we took the tram across town for the airport- New Zealand here we come!